I will post for all the new people that might come by.

I have more to say in person than I do in type

thats why I dont blog alot. 

Nothing much going on its 2 day before Christmas

and its just getting funner and funner each year 

cause my kids are getting older and starting to buy

presents and be curious about heir own presents.

This is my first year of having presents under the tree

cause my kids are old enuf to buy stuff. Usually its me

buying for the whole family and so no suprise to me 

whats under the tree.  I have two presents yay. 

I had Parker wrap Chris's presents and Chris wrap

Parker's so that was a ton of fun to see them go 

hes gonna love that.

I love my kids and they just get a ton funner all the time.

We just celebrated our 2 year anniversary on Dec. 14th

of being a legal family, Donald adopted the boys on 

Dec. 14 2006. It was a ton of fun we opened a couple family

christmas presents and played them and watched movies 

and had an indoor picnic since its a lil cold outside.

I ll have to post how christmas goes.

Blind Sided

Life just totally completely
blind sided me.

I was looking one way and
complaining about one thing
and the real problem surfaced
a week ago last sunday

OMG

I was looking the other way because this
would never be a possibility in
my life

but now that the unthinkable happened
will it happen again???

I want to run so bad
my safe lil world has crashed
in on me

Where do I go from here
I ve been a roller coster of emotions
this last week.

I am trying to decide
Stay or Go

If it happened this time it
technically for the second time
it could happen again right.

how can I trust
when it wasnt even supose to happen
this time

the promise was made lil over 5 yrs ago
that it wouldnt happen again

But it did

My world is crushed,

my heart is broke,

Where do I go from???

Hold on for on more day.

Parkers name

I was filling out a thing for Parkers teacher and I had to put facts down about Parker for the other students to guess who these facts are about and one of them that was funny to me is...

Not only is my last name the reason why movies are rated "R" but my initials are another rating of a movie "PG"

and than what makes it funnier to is in 3 years he will be PG 13.

Weve been having fun with parkers initials since his classmates last year came up with PG as his nickname. Parker is proud of his initials and name.

Christopher feels a lil left out cause we havent made anything out of his initials and no one has given him a nickname yet.

were moving

I am so excited its about time, were moving

Its not the biggest apartment, but than me

and donald got to thinking about it and when

we had 3 bedroom and 2 bathroom apartment 

with good sized rooms, we never used the 

3rd bedroom or second bathroom they were

there just to basically say we had them.

sooooo i am just so excited we move on 

friday and i ve already started packing. 

Timing...

I was sitting on the couch the other day and i wasnt feeling to good

Donald walked up to me and touched my shoulder

but i wasnt feeling well so i wasnt really aware of him

just as he touched my shoulder i said

"oye, i think i am gonna throw up now"

Donald felt bad and sad he wouldnt touch me anymore

aw I was like oh no honey i am so sorry, i didnt mean it that way

Just like the time Donald was fixing my moms compy

My mom was sitting next to Donald talking to my bro David

David was talking about his blind date last night and said she

had 2 kids, just as he said that something happened to my moms compy

so as Dave got done saying that Donald said

"oh thats not good"

comming from the guy who married a chick with 2 kids

the timing for a compy prob and donald saying that at the

same time Dave said that made for a real good laugh.

So heres to timing its just great, gives us the lil giggles we need

here and there in life.

Taking friends for granite

I just realized tonight that i have taken a good good friend for granite.

I have been all these years searching for a best friend, someone to 

confide in, someone that loves me for me and knows me and through

all my time of searching i never stopped to really think about the one 

person that has been there for me all my life since I was 5.

I ve only thought I had to search out that best friend when really she has

been there all my life.

I have sat there and made every excuse why i cant go see her when I should 

have been making every excuse why i need to talk to her. I feel bad for how 

I have ignored her. 

From today forward I will no longer take any friend for granite and I am going

to make every excuse to see my best friend. And no more will I take someone 

for granite, life is to short to ignore people. Especially for my friend, her time 

can be up much sooner than mine and I dont want to sit here and wish I had spent more time with her. 

Why kids are an example to us

I was siiting on the couch yesterday and talking to Christopher when there was a knock on the door, Parker wnt over and opened the door, he saw who was out there and yelled "i cant play with you" and slammed the door. I was puzzled and asked Parker, was that Mason, Parker said no that was Taska. Taska, wait a sec arnt you friends with her. Parker said no she made fun of me this morning. so parker opens the door back up and tells her why he is mad and re slams the door. It hit me what happened.

Earlier this morning before school... i had just got parker and christopher ready for school. parker picked up a pair of sunglasses and with a flick of his wrist they opened he put them on his face and turned to chris and said lets go. I thought it was very cute of him, another aspect of parkers personality comming out.

I asked parker, did she make fun of your glasses. he said her and her brother laughed at him. i told parker i thought you looked cool and she wants to be mean about it maybe shes not a good friend. Parker said, they said i looked like elvis. 

wait a sec hold everything, you upset they said you looked like elvis, lol. well so i took my computer and showed parker who elvis was and that was actually a compliment. as i was doing this there was another knock on the door. It was Taska, she came back, parker had told her what upset him, so she came back to talk to him, so i told parker you tell taska give you 2 sec. parker told her that than i set parker down and explained to him he had a simple misunderstanding about elvis and to explain to taska that he misunderstood her and tell her your sorr. parker went back to the door told taska how he felt, she said she was sorry and all was forgiven and they went out and played

Now thats how it works.

Parker got hurt, he told taska how she hurt him, taska relized what she did, the misunderstanding was explained to parker and her said sorry she said sorry and the fight lasted 10 whole min and all was forgotten and forgiven. 

when someone tells me they need time it like saying i can forgive you but i am not going to forget it. so therefore it takes time, but if you just actually be resonable about things no time is needed because you both honestly set down and empathized with each other to get the prob solved.  heres a quote i recently came across...

Forgiving and being reconciled are not about

pretending that things are other than the are. It is not

patting one another on the back and turning a blind eye

to the wrong...Forgiveness...means taking what

happened seriously and not minimizing it, drawing out

the sting in the memory that threatens to poison our

entire exsistance. it involves trying to understand the 

perpetrators and so have empathy, to try o stand in their

shoes and appreciate the sort of pressures and influences

that might have conditioned them.

--Desmond Tutu 

Cant Sleep...make it stop

I wish I could fall asleep but i cant

i cant stop thinking

i think the switch that turns thinking off is broken

i took 2 tylenol sleepy pills 15 min ago 

so i hope i fall asleep soon

my neck and shoulders are so tense

people always get mad at me for voicing what

i think is bothering me 

but if i dont this happens

i stay up all night thinking about it

i cant sleep....

i tried searching the ensign for answers so i could ease my mind

but it only validated my thoughts 

and now i cant sleep

cause now i am back at square one

how do i accomplish what i am trying to do

i guess i could try and define even more

but than thats thinking again.

i guess i could give up....

i have done all i could

is someone awake at midnight i can call

i remember when i was younger i used to call my sister

when i was to scared to fall asleep

just so she would tell me how stupid i was.

i needed to hear that so i felt stupid and would go to sleep

right now i already know what people would say

so i really dont need to hear it again i guess

give up and go to bed. 

thats what the rest the world does

give up

walk away

ignore the prob

sure it goes away, riiiiiight

only if you dont have a conscience 

or emotions. 

i dont know i really really dont know

is all i can say

well hmmmm the sleepy pills are somewhat kicking in

not as drowsy as i would like to feel.

cause i cant fall asleep if i am not tired.

oh well i am gonna try and give up

and go to bed

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Orange Daisy has a place

Ok so after making several phone calls to 

Tmobile and Sony i figured out how to get my phone to blog

so my phone (Orange Daisy) has a plce for her thoughts

I will put the link on my page

Orange Daisys blogs will be more of a picture blog place and this one 

will be text place. 

I hope you enjoy Orange Daisys place.

Yes she has a name isnt it cute lol. 

Ok so this is my blogger

So i guess this is my blogger.

Its not much yet. 

I am deciding if i should leave my blogger totally open or if i should close it to only people who know me. If i asked my hubby he would tell me to take it private.

I hate taking things private cause really there should

be no reason to but he wants to be in 

control of who knows what is going on in our lives.

My hands are cold from typing i want to curl under 

my blankies.

that reminds me i think my sheets are dry.

Well heres my blogger 

and maybe later i will think of

something more interesting 

to blog